Amber "Camdelle" Castillon
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Oh, hey! Nice to see you.Welcome to my little digital oasis on the internet - a portal to everything you could possibly need to know and beyond about who I am or what I'm up to.Thanks for stopping by. May you always be well.
Allow me to introduce myself...
Hello there! My name is Amber, but sometimes I go by "Camdelle" on the internet.
I am 38 years old, born & raised the South Suburbs of Chicago, and I am a person who aspires to help people and make people smile. I was born & raised in the same area where I still reside, and I am surrounded by the loves of my life: my two kids, my life partner Daniel, our dog Zoe, and our kitty Tuna.Other than that, all you really need to know about me is that I'm a big nerd that wears her heart on her sleeve, and I just want to help people & make a good life for myself and my children.
I live my life mindfully and with positive intentions; to do no harm but take no shit.
It really is as simple as that.
A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS:
My Beautiful Kids ✦ My Partner ✦ My Family ✦ My Friends ✦ My Community
Foggy Weather ✦ Travel ✦ Photography ✦ Music & Art ✦ Tarot ✦ Spicy Books
Kindness ✦ Equality ✦ Mindfulness ✦ Love ✦ Honesty ✦ Trust ✦ Accountability
Black Coffee & Chai Tea ✦ Animal Fries ✦ Beignets ✦ Flaming Hots ✦ BBQ
Witchcraft ✦ Science ✦ Fantasy ✦ Documentaries ✦ Disney ✦ Live Music ✦ Netflix
Moon Phases ✦ Astronomy ✦ The Smell of Campfires ✦ Stargazing ✦ Laughing
The Color Teal ✦ Singing Loudly ✦ Long Nature Walks ✦ Longer Road Trips
Places Where Mountains & Forests Meet The Water ✦ Writing & Storytelling
The Endlessly Brand
I launched my independent portrait company, Endlessly Photography, on January 1st, 2012.
For so many years, I had the honor & privilege of being able to photograph a countless amount of truly incredible people, places, and things as a Professional Lifestyle Portrait, Wedding, Boudoir, and Event Photographer. Then, in early 2020 the pandemic put that career on hold as I had to quickly act - figure out what I could do remotely for work in the meantime. Thankfully, a short time later that same summer, one of my best friends asked me to help her manage her content on Twitch and YouTube. That’s when everything changed.My brand evolved to become "The Endlessly Company" (Endlessly LLC) and the focus has been content management & media production company for creators, influencers, and streamers since August of 2020. I am the CEO & co-owner, and my responsibilities include: art design, content management, and production. I also fatefully combined forces with my partner Dan - and I've been very lucky to work with the love of my life & best friend every day since. He is an extremely talented & proficient video editor, musician, A/V wizard, and IT tech! It's pretty much a dream team and we get to utilize our greatest strengths & talents to take on challenging, creative-based projects together quite often.After a few years, our the focus of our business has shifted to editing short form video and YouTube content - which means that Dan is a very busy man. In 2023, I also worked as an admin (and more) for an educational streaming company. Then, at the end of last year, after almost 3 years of freelance admin & management contracts, I accepted a role at a tabletop card game company. I am still working with Dan whenever my services and expertise is needed.
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SQUAD FIRST
My greatest pride is that I get to be called “Mom” by two of the most amazing kids, and to be called "Partner" by someone who treats me well, respects me, & truly loves me unconditionally.My kids are the absolute best, most important, and utterly favorite beings in my whole universe; two little miracles that are the greatest creations of my whole entire life. They are the core and the foundation, my daily inspiration to do & BE better, the driving force behind my desire to succeed. I am SO proud to be their mama, and while I want to provide a good life for them -
I want them to be proud of me, too.My partner in life, love, and business, Dan, is one of the most hard working, loving, kind humans that I have ever met in my entire life - and I am endlessly in awe of his boundless talent, his drive, and the utterly selfless way that he cares for myself & my kids. He loves them and takes care of them as if they were his own, and it is so beautiful and touching to witness. I am so, SO lucky.I love them all so much, heart & soul, always.They are my squad, my fireteam, my pack, and they will always come first above all else.
WHO IS CAMDELLE?!
Camdelle is an alias.Camdelle is a name that I chose for myself nearly 20 years ago to use as an incognito username on the internet. This character was originally created & dreamed up at a time when I could have used a hero in my life, a protector. The first time I ever used it was when I created a Human Paladin on World of Warcraft in 2004.Camdelle was the strong, powerful warrior that wears an unbreakable suit of armor that cannot be penetrated by those who may wish to harm her; she is an entity with the ability to slay dragons & solve complicated problems or puzzles without breaking a sweat. Camdelle a Paladin that becomes the light in the darkness for all those who seek help or guidance, a skilled swordswoman who seeks justice. Camdelle became everything I needed and wanted to be. A safe haven. A mask.When I decided to adopt this screen name widely across social media, Camdelle became a symbol of bravery, wisdom, and strength to me - someone that had risen like a phoenix from the ashes of her life.Camdelle is the name that I have used in place of my given name across multiple personal hobbies, like gaming or streaming, or as a protective shield of anonymity on the internet and across social media. Being Camdelle has given me confidence and has opened doors for me in my life & career that I'm not sure I could have found without "her" - but at the end of the day, the idea behind the moniker of Camdelle has always represented the best parts of me and who I want to be.For nearly 2 decades now, this has been a name that MANY people have known me as and have interacted with me daily - people I have come to consider family and many of my closest friends. After answering to the nickname “Cam” for more than half my life, it’s as much my name as the name I was born with. I will absolutely answer to either, and have no preference either way.By whichever name you know me as - I hope that I am also known as someone that is strong, capable, mindful, valid, and worthy of so much love & good in my life... I have been all along.I am Camdelle, I am Amber. I am both.
I am a mom, a partner, an artist, an entrepreneur... a woman who wears MANY hats, every day.
I am so much more than just a name, or a face, or text on a page.No matter what you call me: I am worthy, intelligent, fierce, loyal, and a total badass.
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“The cosmos is within us. We are made of star-stuff. We are a way for the universe to know itself.”- Carl Sagan
I am living with cancer
In 2021, after over 8 years of trying to get some real answers, I was ultimately biopsied and diagnosed with a cutaneous non-Hodgkin's lymphoma called...
MYCOSIS FUNGOIDES
[mai·coh·sis fun·goi·deez / fun·goydes]
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LAST UPDATE: 07-13-2023This page is a work in progress.The intention of this page is to educate people about my incurable, rare, indolent, painful, itchy condition. I will be living with cancer, doing maintenance treatments to keep it at bay, for the rest of my life. I don't want to have to do it alone, and I never want others with this condition to feel alone either. Mycosis Fungoides / cutaneous T-cell lymphoma is a VERY lonely disease.To those who take the time to learn about MF & CTCL - thank you. It means the world to me.
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FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor.
That being said, everything below should be considered opinion and an observation of my own personal experiences - not medical or treatment advice.
Thank you.
What stage is your cancer?I am somewhere between stage 1A and 1B since the date of my diagnosis in 2021. No changes since.Where is your cancer? What does it look like?My cancer covered approximately 50% of my skin at the peak flare point prior to starting treatments; the effected areas are nearly exclusively in places that are typically covered by clothing. If you are curious and would like to know where my cancer is and what my cancer looks like during a flare up, you can view this Ko-Fi blog post, which may not be safe for work in certain environments due to the photos.What are the symptoms of CTCL / Mycosis Fungoides? What does it feel like to have cancer?
What does the cancer itself feel like, from the inside and out?You can read more about my experience with being a person living with my specific type of cancer in a blog post called "Grayscale" - plus a lot of other personal stories & anecdotes, on my Ko-Fi blog. I will be writing as often as time allows to try to document my journey, tell my story, and hopefully help others.What is your current cancer treatment plan?Treatment sessions at max time (10 minutes) in the lightbox; 2 days per week during the summer months (June - September) and then 3 days a week in the winter months (October - May).Sunlight is the key to keeping this cancer at bay. Though one does have to be careful, because the extra sunlight can cause other cancers or issue. Due to the lack of sunlight that Chicago has during the winter months, and the chaotic weather even on sunny days, I have to get my "sun" from the phototherapy lamps. Ideally, I would be able to move to a sunnier, more mild state and not have to do so many time consuming, in-office treatments. Unfortunately, I am not allowed to move away Illinois (or a 25 mile radius) until my children are 18.Can your cancer be cured or go into remission?MF/CTCL is incurable, but it can go into a remission-like state.There have been some cases that have allegedly been cured by bone marrow transplant surgeries, but I do not currently meet the staging or criteria for one (as far as I am aware).Is Mycosis Fungoides even a "real" cancer?This is unimaginably hurtful question, which I have heard variations of since my diagnosis. I have cancer; it is simply a different type of cancer which manifests & presents outside of the "normal" societal perception of what having cancer looks like.I am lucky beyond human comprehension that I was able to get a diagnosis for this condition before it moved past my skin, caused me to break out into tumors, or otherwise wreaked havoc on (or inside of) my person any further than the worst point in 2021. Some people, including the woman that probably saved my life by sharing her story, were not as lucky - and have since passed away from this horrific, and VERY REAL disease.What people need to realize about Mycosis Fungoides is that if you get to the point where you're sick enough to need chemo and radiation - or Gods forbid, if it makes it to your bloodstream and turns into Sézary syndrome - there is no coming back from that. If my cancer ever upgrades in staging, if it makes it into my blood, or if I start flaring to the point of tumor growth... what remains of my life will be spent fighting that, until my life ends. (Short of a miracle, of course.)The name has "fung" or "fungoid" in it. Is it a fungus? Can it be treated like one?Despite the misnomer, this disease has nothing to do at all with fungus - but will often be misdiagnosed as a fungal infection, given the resemblance. This is one of the many reasons that is a commonly (and repeatedly) misdiagnosed condition, as the symptoms and visual presentation match many other probably diagnoses.I was misdiagnosed with a fungal infection in early 2021, which led to some of the most painful months of my life as I endured the treatment. Needless to say, anti-fungal medication is NOT helpful in combating this cancer.
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MF / CTCL RELATED LINKS
Cutaneous Lymphoma Foundation
National Organization for Rare Disorders - CTCL
National Organization for Rare Disorders - Mycosis Fungoides
American Academy of Dermatology
National Cancer Institute
Cleveland Clinic